Mythical Medic Pillows

"Take three thousand Tylenol and call me in the morning."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

Keyworker

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"This will be a tricky operation."

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

Modern Warfare: Surgical Strike

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

'You MAY feel a teeny-tiny pin-prick..'

Cuba applauds its doctors

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'Let's play doctor. You be the primary care giver and I'll be the doctor you refer patients to.'

'Feed a cold, starve the plague.'

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

"Did you call for a Medic?"

I guess that's one way to get the ER renovated.

The Uses of a Stethoscope

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

Team medic spraying deodorant

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

'Hey, have all you guys got some kind of air borne disease?'

Emma is very happy that the doctor will finally remove the growth on Daddy's nose but she's also a little sad to see it go...

'I'm giving you a referral to Bobby Smith down the street.'

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'