Medical Magicians Pillows

'OK! OK! Mrs. ...whatever your name was! We'll cover the cost of your back surgery!! Now get out of here!'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Desert Island BBQ

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

Primitive magician

"I can't believe he brought her."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"This will be a tricky operation."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

Juggler and Illusionist

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Magic Tricks

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Magic Tricks

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."