Whimsical Medic T-Shirts

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Little doctor.

"This will be a tricky operation."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

"Congratulations, Gentlemen! We removed it from his skull without damaging his funny bone!"

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

Spud dating.

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

"Pick a file, any file." Dr Collins ability to put nervous patients at ease was legendary.

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

"Good question. I'd check with Web MD if the wi-fi in this hospital wasn't so terrible."

With a hindsight exam result of 20/40, Harold hoped the new monocle would be less irritating than the last one.

'Is it too late to change that cracker to a quarter pounder with cheese?'

I think it's candy for old people. PEZ. MEDZ.

'Young man, haven't you ever heard of the hippocratic oath?'

'You have to chew your food: All this feeding-frenzy business is bad for your digestive system...'

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

"I spy something red."

'Just as I suspected, you don't have a serious bone in your body.'

'The doctor doesn't want you getting too excited, so I'll be giving you your bed bath.'

Did you miss me?

'I'll level with you...You're sick as a dog.'

"My diagnosis is you have an arrow through your head, but to be safe, I'll order a series of tests."

"I'll swop you my liver for one of your kidneys."