Whimsical Medic Gifts

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Little doctor.

"This will be a tricky operation."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

Spud dating.

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"Pick a file, any file." Dr Collins ability to put nervous patients at ease was legendary.

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

'Is it too late to change that cracker to a quarter pounder with cheese?'

"Good question. I'd check with Web MD if the wi-fi in this hospital wasn't so terrible."

With a hindsight exam result of 20/40, Harold hoped the new monocle would be less irritating than the last one.

'Young man, haven't you ever heard of the hippocratic oath?'

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

"I spy something red."

'You have to chew your food: All this feeding-frenzy business is bad for your digestive system...'

'The doctor doesn't want you getting too excited, so I'll be giving you your bed bath.'

'I'll level with you...You're sick as a dog.'

Did you miss me?

'Just as I suspected, you don't have a serious bone in your body.'

"My diagnosis is you have an arrow through your head, but to be safe, I'll order a series of tests."

"I'll swop you my liver for one of your kidneys."

"Take three thousand Tylenol and call me in the morning."