Medicine Magician T-Shirts

"Call security - and my cardiologist."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Team Leader

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Desert Island BBQ

Time Is Money

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"I can't believe he brought her."

Primitive magician

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

"This will be a tricky operation."

Investing your savings

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"Everything's gone up."

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

Magic Tricks

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."