Mystical Medicine Buff T-Shirts

"Penicillin? I'm sorry – I don't practice alternative medicine."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"This will be a tricky operation."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

You have a condition called 'extreme gullibility.' Whatever you say, Doc.

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

"You never know what will catch on!"

'I know just how you feel.'

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

Fart Sample.

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

"Call security - and my cardiologist."

"Dermatology? That sounds interesting. Myself, I've always been in cardiology."

"It might be time to put you on a stronger anti-inflammatory."

Water: the first medicine

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

"Your D.N.A. test shows you're predisposed to sue doctors."

"Now where was I?"

"I'm from Special Ops."

"Don't be alarmed. It's just our technician photo-bombing your X-ray."

Morty likes a holistic approach... sex, cigarettes, pillow talk and then death.

'Then in the fourth grade...'

"I miss the days when my doctor was older than me!"

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."