Mythical Gourmet T-Shirts

"All I've got left is smoked."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

The Witches Discover The Wok

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'Creme brulee! You're the best Mum!'

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

Salvador Deli

'Now watch and listen!'

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

"Who gets what?"

Spaceman serving shrimp.

'WIll that be with or without methane, sir?'

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

"Set phazers to medium rare!"

'The cauldron is just for the sauce - I do the rest in my microwave.'

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

'Oh please uncle Jim! Tell us another creepy story of the living!'

'It's just Frank's ghost returning for a bottle of wine. It doesn't tend to keep well, where he ended up.'

Coven ready - Witch in supermarket with a 'coven ready' chicken

'How come you never bring meatballs?'

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

Meditation Munchies

Surprise!

'WHAT??! 3.695.897 euro for the pizza delivery service??!'

"Red wine with fish? Do you take me as some kind of a monster?!"

Guru on a mountain top with a take away menu

"What do you mean, 'No hot pastrami'? What kind of heaven do you call this?"

Vlad the Impaler - the Later Years

'How gauche! Serving oyster crackers with clam chowder.'

Enjoyment...reading...choosing...understanding.