Mythical Gourmet T-Shirts

"All I've got left is smoked."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

The Witches Discover The Wok

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'Creme brulee! You're the best Mum!'

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

Salvador Deli

"Who gets what?"

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

'Now watch and listen!'

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

"Set phazers to medium rare!"

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

'WIll that be with or without methane, sir?'

Spaceman serving shrimp.

'How come you never bring meatballs?'

'The cauldron is just for the sauce - I do the rest in my microwave.'

'Oh please uncle Jim! Tell us another creepy story of the living!'

'It's just Frank's ghost returning for a bottle of wine. It doesn't tend to keep well, where he ended up.'

Coven ready - Witch in supermarket with a 'coven ready' chicken

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

Meditation Munchies

Surprise!

'WHAT??! 3.695.897 euro for the pizza delivery service??!'

Guru on a mountain top with a take away menu

"Red wine with fish? Do you take me as some kind of a monster?!"

"What do you mean, 'No hot pastrami'? What kind of heaven do you call this?"

'Those kids ate me out of house and home, but what really put me under were those dang dental bills.'

Vlad the Impaler - the Later Years

'How gauche! Serving oyster crackers with clam chowder.'