Mystical Romantics Gifts

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Quantum Psychic

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Date Night

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

A voodoo doctor.

'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

A thief steals a heart

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

Centaur falls in love.

'It's my new fortune e-reader.'

Actually, the Sandman's little brother, 'Boulder Boy' could get people asleep a whole lot quicker.

Transylvanian Snails.

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

"Is it too much to ask for you to just act paranormal for once?"

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"What should I tell the Andersons- twenty minutes?"

Mermen

Honeyhuman Suite

'He said my future stinks.'

Robert Macaire recieving expensive gifts from his love

"Hey, that's what everyone thinks about the strategic planning department! I've got a crystal ball and we all study the occult! Hah Hah Hah!..."

"Any kind of election is getting harder to call these days. . ."

'Remember when we used to make love, you used to bite my neck?'

You Will Find a Nearby Restaurant!

Fortune Telling: Retirement Planning.

'According to this, my coffin should be facing the south side of the crypt.'

"Will I pass the math test tomorrow, mom?"

"I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death."

'Never mind all that stuff! Can you see somewhere to park next tuesday?'

"Hello, gorgeous!"