Mystical Advisor Gifts

"Beware of start-ups with a negative cash flow."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"Did you have a cat?"

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"All the celebrities come here."

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"How do I get down?"

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

A voodoo doctor.