Mustard Enthusiast Gifts

'Smooth Mustard' and 'Coarse mustard'

Close encounters of the Grey Poupon kind.

'Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?'

'We were all out of white wine - so I took the liberty of squeezing out a glass from the Dijon mustard.'

'Your ball park mustard, Sir.'

"Alle Baba! Throw me the Grey Poupon!"

Dijon Vu

"She can't be that mad. She used my favorite mustard."

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Emergency Hipster Beard

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Bearded Leftie.

Your five o'clock shadow is showing, Mike.

"I noticed a few browns."

Classic Emojis for sale.

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

Street Organ - Monkey

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

The Organic

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

"If I put mustaches on all of us, we look more like a team."

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

"It makes you look old."

"Oh, honey, you’ve got two croutons caught in your beard, and … is that an iPod Nano?!"