Musical Novice Gifts

Bad Violinist.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Today we learned to count to one.

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

The Inexperienced Cook

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"Not lengthways you idiot!!"

"Triple whammy."

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

Boy Learning Violin With Ear Muffs.

I think I'd like to make a motion at this time, your honor, but I cut a lot of classes in law school, and I'm not sure if I should make a motion to strike, or compel, or set aside a judgment, or

"What's my collar size?"

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

'So this is a kitchen!'

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

The not-so-living wall

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

Freshman Ryan Brenneman was having a tough time acclimating to life away from home.

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

'I'm fixing breakfast - how do you like your eggs, black or dark brown?'

"Baldo, if you want good Latino food...all you have to do is ask."

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

'Where do we keep the boiling water?'

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

"Of course he's not our son. You wanted me to change the baby, didn't you?"

Sick wife teaches husband to use can-opener

I don't know much about Tennis...

"First date. You'd think she would have done something about her eraser."

If I learn how to write Roman Numerals, will that help me write computer code?

"Yes! I got one over! Woo-hoo!"

"Would the violin be any easier than this?"

Tom Prepares for his Hot Date.

"It's nearly perfect, dear...you just have to plant the flowers the coloured side up..."