Musical Novice Pillows

Bad Violinist.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Today we learned to count to one.

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

The Inexperienced Cook

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"Not lengthways you idiot!!"

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

"Triple whammy."

Boy Learning Violin With Ear Muffs.

"What's my collar size?"

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

'So this is a kitchen!'

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

The not-so-living wall

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

"First date. You'd think she would have done something about her eraser."

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

"Of course he's not our son. You wanted me to change the baby, didn't you?"

Sick wife teaches husband to use can-opener

"Baldo, if you want good Latino food...all you have to do is ask."

I don't know much about Tennis...

'Where do we keep the boiling water?'

'I'm fixing breakfast - how do you like your eggs, black or dark brown?'

If I learn how to write Roman Numerals, will that help me write computer code?

"Would the violin be any easier than this?"

"It's nearly perfect, dear...you just have to plant the flowers the coloured side up..."

Tom Prepares for his Hot Date.

'Tell me again. What do we do with pork bellies?'