Novice Performer Pillows

"Not lengthways you idiot!!"

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Mikado

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Drummer

Tina Turner

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Magic Tricks

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

Midsummer Night's Dream

Music Hall Dancers

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

'Verily, we wuz robbed!'

Tenors

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

How to engage an audience

"He's got a great future behind him!"