Piano Newbie Gifts

"Would the violin be any easier than this?"

Baby Piano

Rhapsody in Blue.

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Felix Mendelssohn

Concert Pianist.

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Piano Recital

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

Girl to boy, 'Mom says don't play it again, Sam.'

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Piano Keyboard

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

A baby playing on a grand piano

Frederic Chopin

"... And his piano teacher says that he definitely has Van Gough's ear for music."

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

'My next selection is a protest song against piano lessons.'

"What's remarkable is that just last week he was lying despondent on the beach."

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

Didgeridoo

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

'Take me to you lieder.'

Edvard Grieg

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'