Musical Corker Gifts

Wine charmer

"This next one's another oldie."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

My other cello is a Stradivari

Dynamite little combo

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"The Just Me Band"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

Liam Gallagher.

'We're having an argument. Do you know any battle marches?'

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

Too old to rock'n'roll now, Sir?

Zappo's Air Guitars.

Campground Conductor

I think we should stick to doing this with a piano.

'Do we have any oldies but goodies that you would care to hear?'

'Yup, cannon in D.'

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

Excommunicate Me.

Santa Metal Claus

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...

"Hey—no cheating!"

Guarneri Feline Quartet.

"I'm very highly strung!"

Rock n'roll.

'Wolfgang! Playing air violin is not practicing!'

"I've got sea mail."

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

Woman plays a cello with a cuckoo peaking out the back.

'What happened to the little flute?'

"Norm, the piano tuna is here!"

Earplugs £2 a Pair