Musical Comedy Aficionado Gifts

'Yes I did say you needed a more interesting waiting room...however, a juggler and guitarist isn't what I had in mind.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"We're following Carrot Top."

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Silence of the Chickens...

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Mikado

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

"Not now, Oliver."

"I said slime."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Scuba cow"

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

Old rocker.

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."