Museum Planner Skeptic Gifts

Stuck with another lousy blind date, Karen hits her emergency dating eject button.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Crane Game. Ball Game.

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

The Rape of Europa

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

E-commerce for shoplifters.

'My God, you're right - they are all back issues of TV guide.'

Private View.

'You always have to be different, don't you?'

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"

Unnatural History Museum: 'How can we help?'

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

Warning, the Surgeon General warns that prolonged viewing of this product may be hazardous to your health.

"Awesome, yes - but what's the point? I mean, aside from the travel reward points."

"This is one of his early works, from before he was able to throw the paint and actually hit the canvas."

Jeff hadn't quite anticipated how he'd feel exhibiting his art publicly for the first time.

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

'I'm just adding to my collection of figurines.'

'I can't find my mobile, oh, it's next to my ear.'

'I'm not sure if I'm qualified to be sniffy about this one.'

'It's intimidating that you don't decorate your office.'

"Have you noticed how the conservatives who believe in small government all want to work in big business?"

"They have fringe beliefs but appear normal in order to maximize shock value when they start spouting them."

"Dad, I took the money out of my college fund, but I decided not to go to college."

'Even with the impact of global warming I think Timmy would be safe enough with factor 95'

'Bob was horrified when he realised that he'd mixed up the perscriptions'

'Wow! Look, Dad! That's the syringe he used the year he shattered the record.'

Harold eats lunch like he plays golf.

The Trump family

Artist painting TV waves.

When will you admit you need glasses.

'Finally something I like!' (Man leaving through the art galleries exit).