Clumsy Curator Gifts

'I can't find my mobile, oh, it's next to my ear.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Crane Game. Ball Game.

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

E-commerce for shoplifters.

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"Eating the poinsettia didn't make him sick. It was the three pounds of potting soil."

"This song is inspired by the time I fell down the tower stairs"

'My God, you're right - they are all back issues of TV guide.'

Private View.

'My dad thinks I have a future in junk bonds.'

'You always have to be different, don't you?'

"This is one of his early works, from before he was able to throw the paint and actually hit the canvas."

Warning, the Surgeon General warns that prolonged viewing of this product may be hazardous to your health.

Jeff hadn't quite anticipated how he'd feel exhibiting his art publicly for the first time.

How teachers decide what school supplies kids need to buy.

'I'm not sure if I'm qualified to be sniffy about this one.'

"Have you noticed how the conservatives who believe in small government all want to work in big business?"

'I'm just adding to my collection of figurines.'

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

'You know, this is the second bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'Oh sure, Rupert's lovely, but his mate's a total slime-bag.'

"They have fringe beliefs but appear normal in order to maximize shock value when they start spouting them."

"What happened to your finger?"

'Wait...Where was I going again? Oh. That's right.'

Hand being hit with a hammer.

"It was awful, Ted. The right hand never knew what the left hand was doing to it."

The Trump family

"Here's to a clean start ..."

Artist painting TV waves.