Clumsy Curator T-Shirts

'I can't find my mobile, oh, it's next to my ear.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

E-commerce for shoplifters.

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"This song is inspired by the time I fell down the tower stairs"

"Eating the poinsettia didn't make him sick. It was the three pounds of potting soil."

Private View.

'My God, you're right - they are all back issues of TV guide.'

'My dad thinks I have a future in junk bonds.'

Warning, the Surgeon General warns that prolonged viewing of this product may be hazardous to your health.

Jeff hadn't quite anticipated how he'd feel exhibiting his art publicly for the first time.

"This is one of his early works, from before he was able to throw the paint and actually hit the canvas."

'You know, this is the second bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

"Have you noticed how the conservatives who believe in small government all want to work in big business?"

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

'I'm not sure if I'm qualified to be sniffy about this one.'

'I'm just adding to my collection of figurines.'

"What happened to your finger?"

"They have fringe beliefs but appear normal in order to maximize shock value when they start spouting them."

'Wait...Where was I going again? Oh. That's right.'

Hand being hit with a hammer.

Artist painting TV waves.

"It was awful, Ted. The right hand never knew what the left hand was doing to it."

The Trump family

"Here's to a clean start ..."

"Maybe it would be best if you waited out here."