Muscle Worshipper Gifts

"I ❤️ me"

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Church for sports worshipers.

The rock caricature

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

Built and Built without a permit.

'Of course he does - all snakes have great abs!'

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

"His prose is so muscular."

Sadie, the way you objectify football players is unconscionable. It's what? All you talk about are their muscles, square jaws, animal intensity. Ooh. What? I live it when you get all puffed up and macho and tough. And what biceps. Much better. Well played. Girl does what she's got to.

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

'I like it. It's bigger than life.'

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

'You know, they call me 'Stinkin' rich' because I even have an employee who takes a shower for me every morning!'

'It's me, Santa... I've had work done.'

Fitness in church.

'Just a few more steroids and I get-a-chopping!'

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

Pushy Coach.

'My ex-boyfriend is just here to pick up his bodybuilding magazines. You can come in if you promise not to pick a fight.'

"The guy who wants to be my boyfriend has the body of a god - buddha."

'Sorry Mum, but the silly haircut kind of ruins my body builder image...'

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

'Your 'guns' are very impressive Norman,but not at work.'

'You're very tense today.'

Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"The poison ivy has pretty well cleared up, so we'll ratchet back on the topical steroids."

Gym. I'm not sweating --- My muscles are crying!