Muscle Whisperer Gifts

'You're very tense today.'

Gym. I'm not sweating --- My muscles are crying!

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Critisize your weight.

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

Opening the door to new customers

Woman applying makeup

Man and Machine snoozing

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"Good grief, Wilson! At least act like you're enjoying it! It's for my blog!"

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"Yes, we now have smart mirrors that can read your mood."

'OK, Connor. Tell me about this big, scary monster that you feel is under your bed at night.'

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

"My analysis is you're selfie obsessed!"

"?"Psychoanalysis for Dummies"?

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'

Psychoses on tape

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'

"What setting do I use for this?"

'So, I see you're a good listener.'

'It's the thin person inside you, screaming to get out - I'm afraid he's not alone.

"Ohhh...I guess you feel slightly uncomfortable....Do you want to talk about it?"

"Retail shares just went up ten percent. My wife must have gone shopping this morning!"

'I'm not asking anything for me but would you indicate to me as to whether you are bullish or bearish?'

"You are a very beauty woman. May I buy you a coke?"

'She used a scroggy piraya to flench her jargonel.'

Weight Loss Cheat.