Muscle Whisperer Gifts

'You're very tense today.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Critisize your weight.

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

Opening the door to new customers

Man and Machine snoozing

Woman applying makeup

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"Good grief, Wilson! At least act like you're enjoying it! It's for my blog!"

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

"Yes, we now have smart mirrors that can read your mood."

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

"?"Psychoanalysis for Dummies"?

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

"My analysis is you're selfie obsessed!"

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'

Psychoses on tape

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'

'It's the thin person inside you, screaming to get out - I'm afraid he's not alone.

"Ohhh...I guess you feel slightly uncomfortable....Do you want to talk about it?"

'So, I see you're a good listener.'

"Retail shares just went up ten percent. My wife must have gone shopping this morning!"

'I'm not asking anything for me but would you indicate to me as to whether you are bullish or bearish?'

'I'd like to return this sweater I knitted.'

"You are a very beauty woman. May I buy you a coke?"

'She used a scroggy piraya to flench her jargonel.'

Weight Loss Cheat.

Nature rebels against the machine