Animal Worshipper Gifts

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Drool Marks

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Marilyn's Rushmore

Pyramid catflap...

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"The world revolves around my cat."

Jennifer Aniston

'In ancient Egypt, cats were treated like gods and in this house, it's pretty much the same: Come in friend...'

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

'Did you know that your birthmark links to a cult group that worships cats?'

'No, we can never actually see the big cartoonist, but he's everywhere.'

'It's been a mad house ever since the image of Elvis was seen on the wall after I primed it.'

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

The Worship of Money

"You're not a goat person?"

Surgeons high-five spectators as they enter emergency room.

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'A group of Jennifer Lopez's fans want us to make her a saint!' 'Really? A halo of J-Lo?'

'As a professional discount, I require you to say only two hail Marys.'

"My cat is like your god. Except people don't kill in her name. You don't need to wait until you die to meet her. And she's real."

"Snowman 1 to snowman 3... UPS delivery complete... FedEx approaching fast... Amazon not in sight... Over!"

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

Rabbits popping out of holes on a hillside.

Cat is Ruler of the House.

'I'm writing everything off for religious reasons since I worship the dollar.'

'It looks so lifelike!'