Mummy Master Pillows

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

The Brothers Grime

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

Halloween Selfie

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

Archeologists discover Egyptian Computers.

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

Today's Mothers Day!

"Mummy!

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"You never know what will catch on!"

"Unwrapping a mummy."

Mummy Tourists

Museum.

"Right kids, there's no camp and no vacation, but Mommy and I are super excited to make this summer our best ever!"

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

'Shall I be Motherhood?'

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

"If you need anything just wink."

Mummy Toilet Roll.