Monster Master Pillows

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

'the chef's child' - 'Honest, honey - there's no giant salmonella under your bed.'

'This bed comes with a remote monster-under-the-bed option.'

"Young Frankenstein"

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

The Frankenstein snowman.

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty.

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'

Important Muscles.

He smiled to himself, enjoying his victory in hide and side. But soon, the next activity would start.

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Trout Game

"Hmmm...it doesn't have the same gravitas..."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

Dr. Frankenstein makes the battery hen

Earl and Lance struggle with their new invention, Chessers."

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Love Hurts

Happy Halloween!

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

Lox Ness Monster

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

"Eat your candy. There's obese children in America who'd beat you with a stick to eat that."

Musical Chairs: Because kids don't already have a hard time fitting in.

"This time I'm sure I've got it right!"

"...umm, when was the last time somebody cleaned the fridge?!"

"Why didn't you tell me the competition was making monsters with 3-D printers at less that half the cost?"