Multilingual Jokers Gifts

"Tia Carmen, there are Spanish knock-knock jokes! But you're supposed to say 'toc-toc.'"

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

The first transatlantic communication.

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

Time Table

Artist Painting his Television.

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"I don't want them overexcited,so we don't say T-R-E-A-T around Buddy or B-E-E-R around Bob."

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."

'Grumphie and frijol yields an unpleasant aubade.'

The correct expression is "May I approach the bench?" , not "May I approach the barn?"

Mange tout or man get out

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

'Seven 'provided', thirteen 'buts' and twenty seven 'ifs' - this is the best stockmarket forecast to clients I've ever read.'

"You're writing in the masculine again."

'What do you call a person who steals identities?', 'An 'yclept-o-maniac.''

"Bitch."

"You'll have to chuck it back- it's Kylie Minnow."

'I plan to hyphenate my name when I marry. But eventually I'd like to upgrade to a semicolon followed by a lightning bolt.'

"I can't go"

"Chiminelas caranchita!"

"How nice to be misunderstood in more than one language!"

Colouring fun

Nothing burgers. Word salad. Knuckle sandwiches.

"Let's stop pretending we understand the English setters and just turn on the subtitles."

Dog with recurring nightmare.

Wordplay: Trash

Tommy, I have a question for you. I didn't do nothin'. We're missing a scone. Now, no one's accusing you of anything. I swear, you've got the wrong guy. I definitely didn't take a scone when you went to check email because I was super hungry. You have the right to remain silent. I did it!

'I used all the right words to describe my employee...but not necessarily in the right order.'