Multilingual Jokers Pillows

"Tia Carmen, there are Spanish knock-knock jokes! But you're supposed to say 'toc-toc.'"

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

Time Table

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

Artist Painting his Television.

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"I don't want them overexcited,so we don't say T-R-E-A-T around Buddy or B-E-E-R around Bob."

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."

'Grumphie and frijol yields an unpleasant aubade.'

Mange tout or man get out

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

'Seven 'provided', thirteen 'buts' and twenty seven 'ifs' - this is the best stockmarket forecast to clients I've ever read.'

"You're writing in the masculine again."

"Bitch."

'What do you call a person who steals identities?', 'An 'yclept-o-maniac.''

'I plan to hyphenate my name when I marry. But eventually I'd like to upgrade to a semicolon followed by a lightning bolt.'

"I can't go"

"Chiminelas caranchita!"

"How nice to be misunderstood in more than one language!"

Colouring fun

"I'm an international service agent. I can say 'I'm not responsible' and 'I don't know' in four different languages."

"Let's stop pretending we understand the English setters and just turn on the subtitles."

Wordplay: Trash

'I used all the right words to describe my employee...but not necessarily in the right order.'

Translator

Dog with recurring nightmare.

"My cell phone was, like, literally inside my head! And that's ironic because it was broken!"