Bilingual Jokester Pillows

"Look, Baldo, there's no shame in forgetting your mother tongue."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Men dancing

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Dentists who do appendectomies.

"Tia Carmen, there are Spanish knock-knock jokes! But you're supposed to say 'toc-toc.'"

'Tender and Juicy.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

Summer Reading

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

Fart. Le Poot.

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

"An olive or a twist?"

This Sleigh Carries No Recalled Chinese Toys.

Too-Humble Pie.

"Chiminelas caranchita!"