Bilingual Jokester Pillows

"Look, Baldo, there's no shame in forgetting your mother tongue."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Men dancing

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

The first transatlantic communication.

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Dentists who do appendectomies.

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

"Tia Carmen, there are Spanish knock-knock jokes! But you're supposed to say 'toc-toc.'"

'Tender and Juicy.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

Fart. Le Poot.

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

"An olive or a twist?"

Summer Reading

This Sleigh Carries No Recalled Chinese Toys.

Too-Humble Pie.

"Have you seen my sticks?"