Muddy Trench Trooper Gifts

"Well, if you know of a better military re-enactment club, go to it."

Glastonbury. After.

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

'Hold it RIGHT there, buster! Nobody leaves the floor before signing out first!'

Fermeture des restaurants: la résistance s'organise

'How do I know your ours?'

'Was that yours Clarrie, or one of mine?'

Begin by removing all surplus mud.

"Good news, Mrs. Jennings! The lump in your throat isn't cancer, it's from watching a lot of sad movies."

Pete Bog

'I'm dropping you, you're too clean.'

British patent (applied for) A Trained Dog of war Drawing the Enemy's Fire.

'I found a whole bunch of worms in the wheel wells!'

Wipe Your Feet

This scrimmage, I'll assess your individual talents. Coach. I'll be checking out each of you! Though that would have been easier

Astronomical observations.

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."

"No! Don't jump in that muddy puddle! You haven't got your best clothes on!"

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

'Nasty, right to the end!'

Why concealed carry is not an issue for archery.

'Bad news? I got into a fight with a mud puddle. Good news? I won.'

'I'm designed to go off-road.'

"Catch the rope Alice. Catch the rope and tie it firmly round his neck."

'I came back from the music festival half deaf, it turned out to be mud in my ears.'

'Hey, Mom! -- You want to hear a dirty story?'

"My sister takes a bath every day - she's a mud wrestler."

'The muck stops here!'

'I've been wallowing in mud my whole life and look at me.'

'They wouldn't let me play.'

"Not the Tommy Atkins, surely?"