Moving To Council Housing Gifts

'Why, Grandma. What a spare bedroom you have!'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Dog on man's stair lift

Handle With Care

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Danger Falling Leaves

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"Privare equity bought the dam and jacked up rent. Nests are next."

Burbank Imposes Parking Fee on RVs

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"

"While you're at it, can you do something with him? He can't remember a thing!"

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

'It's the council's flood defence system.'

Power corrupts: McDonalds.

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"It's Meals-on-Wheels, Mrs. Hokenstadt."

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

Assisted Living.

"Hmmm, as far as I can gather, unfortunately, it is an eviction notice: we need to find a new home. . ."

"By the time Edith thought to complain about her new stairlift, she was already airborne."

'His tags were so neat we decied to employ him'

"Tarzan didn't want to downsize, but he took an early retirement – and then Jane got the axe."