Council Member Gifts

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

Local Democracy: How it works. . .

'Wait a minute! Aren't you the chap who refused planning permission on the St., Mary's church extension?'

'You are lucky, I've already refused to see five salesmen this morning.' 'I know. They were me!'

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

'Just take a smidgeon off.'

"Mistakes were made…lessons will be learnt. The council now accepts it was a mistake to use quicksand in the play area."

'Parish Council, working towards obsolescence'

"All those in favour of our township meetings doubling as a book group?"

Community Complaints Redress Mechanisms Bureaucracy

Bloom + Gloom

Jackie Weaver

Chill Out

"This spells out the council's decision - in easy to read emoticons."

"You'd better hurry. The council wants to ban all enjoyable sex."

"...Ever since he was elected to the town council."

"On the upside, books from the closed libraries can be used to fuel the town hall furnace..."

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

Poll-dancing booth.

'Our local council's appallingly corrupt.'

Power corrupts: McDonalds.

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

'That's the Director of Housing. She isn't taking the news of the rates freeze too well...'

'The trouble with politicians is that they always put MY money where their mouth is'

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our caf

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Danger Falling Leaves

'Your copyright is invalid, you spelled (c) wrong.'

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

"It's come to my attention that our sister city has been borrowing our city's clothes without even asking."

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.