Moving Into A Castle Gifts

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Tool Box

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'How about a game of cards?'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Directions: Call a smart friend.

A DIY disaster.

Non-Drip ?

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

It's not considered drinking alone if the cat is at home.

Moving in

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

Medieval headlines.

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

'We know you have a cat.'