Moving To A Mansion Gifts

Country mansion full of dogs.

Let's get organized

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

Doing the borders.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Second hand furniture.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Lazy Octopus

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Yardless: Please help

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'He does lack social skills.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Taking it easy

Cat statues on entrance gate

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

The Not-So Smart Meter

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."