Moving To A New Property Gifts

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Doing the borders.

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Second hand furniture.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Yardless: Please help

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Picking pastries.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Lazy Octopus

"Man's best friends."