Moving To A New Property Gifts

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Doing the borders.

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Second hand furniture.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Picking pastries.

Yardless: Please help

"Man's best friends."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'