Moving To A New Home Gifts

"There's always one annoying piece left over."

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

Fire Alarm

Mum's love of china had reached critical levels.

I Have Too Many Coffee Cups

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

"I miss the palm tree, also, but at least we can have a refrigerator."

'The roof was just re-frosted last year. And did I mention these custom peppermint windows?'

How to cut down clutter: Don't buy stuff.

After the last child moved out, the old woman sold the shoe and moved into a flat.

Movers and shakers.

'We're slowly disappearing, Marty. Shouldn't we do something?'

"We're decluttering."

'A square knot's a good start, but I'd like to see an alarm system and some deadbolts installed as well,'

'I'll take it!'

"Well, I took part in one of them clinical trials. Some folks were given some new kind of medication and some of us received a gazebo."

'Relax! It's you!'

"That was bound to happen. Well, don't just stand there. Tell them you'll call back after you finish brushing your teeth."

'It's just until we get the lock fixed.'

"Now those bastards are getting a little taste of my life."

'Are you sure energy efficient isn't just a nice way of saying you're not too bright?'

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

"I thought we'd decided to go with the maple."

"I've got sky in my bedroom."

I break for toilet paper

"He huffed and he puffed and he increased our rent."

'Believe me, it's not easy keeping this roof over our heads.'

Flower Arrangement

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

'How did I get talked into buying beanbag furniture?'

'Low maintenance gardening'

Apartment for Rent. Access to Pool.

'Mine!'

'We needed to furnish our new flat, so rather than go to all that expense, we've hired an empty skip for a few days.'