Moving Into New House Gifts

Energy Bills

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Doing the borders.

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Second hand furniture.

Yardless: Please help

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Man's best friends."

Lazy Octopus

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"