Moving To A New Home Pillows

"There's always one annoying piece left over."

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

Fire Alarm

Mum's love of china had reached critical levels.

I Have Too Many Coffee Cups

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

"I miss the palm tree, also, but at least we can have a refrigerator."

'The roof was just re-frosted last year. And did I mention these custom peppermint windows?'

After the last child moved out, the old woman sold the shoe and moved into a flat.

How to cut down clutter: Don't buy stuff.

Movers and shakers.

'We're slowly disappearing, Marty. Shouldn't we do something?'

"We're decluttering."

'A square knot's a good start, but I'd like to see an alarm system and some deadbolts installed as well,'

"Wrong address. You want the place next door."

"Well, I took part in one of them clinical trials. Some folks were given some new kind of medication and some of us received a gazebo."

'I'll take it!'

'Relax! It's you!'

"Now those bastards are getting a little taste of my life."

'Are you sure energy efficient isn't just a nice way of saying you're not too bright?'

"That was bound to happen. Well, don't just stand there. Tell them you'll call back after you finish brushing your teeth."

'It's just until we get the lock fixed.'

With their sales slumping due to high gas prices, many RVs are being converted...

I break for toilet paper

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

Flower Arrangement

"I thought we'd decided to go with the maple."

"I've got sky in my bedroom."

'Believe me, it's not easy keeping this roof over our heads.'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"He huffed and he puffed and he increased our rent."

'Since our cable company raised rates for the second time in a year, we're gonna switch to satellite.'

'It's perfect!'

'I like modern. It never goes out of style.'

'Oh crap, it's my mother.'