Moving To New Home Pillows

Everyone thought Bill Junior had a lot of great ideas, but actually he was just too cheap to buy a lampshade.

Staycation

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

New Eco Towns - 'The architects thought we said 'ego'.'

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

LAY ZEE FUK

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Lady of the Cake.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?