Moving To New Home Pillows

Everyone thought Bill Junior had a lot of great ideas, but actually he was just too cheap to buy a lampshade.

Staycation

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

New Eco Towns - 'The architects thought we said 'ego'.'

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

LAY ZEE FUK

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Allotment

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Gardener