Moved To A New Home Pillows

'How can our light bill be so big? We see in the dark.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

LAY ZEE FUK

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Lady of the Cake.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Gardener

Doing the borders.

Allotment

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'