Moving Into A New House Pillows

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'I can't cut the grass until I find the lawnmower and I can't find the lawnmower until I cut the grass!'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

New house smell.

"I liked it better on top of my husband."

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

Directions: Call a smart friend.

"Look who's moved in next door."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'It's a perfect starter teepee.'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

The new neighbor wasn't a bad guy. He just wasn't drawn that good.

New home - should have got a survey.

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

'Well, I've managed to get rid of the annoying double vision effect on your T.V.'

'Personal lawn-craft.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

DIY.

'What do you think of my new place? It's a 1 bedroom, 3 bathroom.'

'The liquor store was overstocked, and it seemed like a shame to let it all go to waste.'

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

Height barrier accident.

'Keep your feet on the joists, Cedric.'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'Honey, I found the remote! And hey, our Blu-ray player is under here too!'

Home Sweet Home.

"He came to help me pick out a pattern that I won't just get tired of after 30 or 40 years."

Tiny house. 'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

"I was going to take care of my pest problem myself, but I though this would be a good job for a professional."

"Looks like the termite man's here."

"On the count of 3, we shove our way in again."