Moving Into A New House Pillows

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'I can't cut the grass until I find the lawnmower and I can't find the lawnmower until I cut the grass!'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'Now what?'

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'

New house smell.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"I liked it better on top of my husband."

Directions: Call a smart friend.

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

"Look who's moved in next door."

The new neighbor wasn't a bad guy. He just wasn't drawn that good.

'Last time I share-house with a Wookie!'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'It's a perfect starter teepee.'

New home - should have got a survey.

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

Painting by the numbers for adults

Home Sweet Home.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'The liquor store was overstocked, and it seemed like a shame to let it all go to waste.'

'What do you think of my new place? It's a 1 bedroom, 3 bathroom.'

Height barrier accident.

DIY.

Tiny house. 'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'Keep your feet on the joists, Cedric.'

Barbie's Affordable House

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

"On the count of 3, we shove our way in again."

"Looks like the termite man's here."

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'Well, I've managed to get rid of the annoying double vision effect on your T.V.'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"He came to help me pick out a pattern that I won't just get tired of after 30 or 40 years."