Moving To A Big House Gifts

'If I lived there, the first thing I'd do is have my head examined.'

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Doing the borders.

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Second hand furniture.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Yardless: Please help

Painting the Ceiling

"Man's best friends."

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Lazy Octopus

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'