Moving To A New Home With A Big Kitchen Gifts

"I'm making dirty rice."

Come dine with me!

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Doing the borders.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

Second hand furniture.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Painting the Ceiling

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Lazy Octopus

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Yardless: Please help

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"Man's best friends."