Moving Into A New Kitchen Gifts

'It's all homemade.'

Come dine with me!

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Second hand furniture.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Yardless: Please help

"Man's best friends."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Lazy Octopus

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Tool Box

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Painting the Ceiling

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'He does lack social skills.'