Moving Into A New Kitchen Gifts

'It's all homemade.'

Come dine with me!

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Second hand furniture.

Painting the Ceiling

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Lazy Octopus

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Yardless: Please help

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Tool Box

"Man's best friends."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'