Moving Into A Castle T-Shirts

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Tool Box

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'How about a game of cards?'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Directions: Call a smart friend.

A DIY disaster.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Non-Drip ?

'Now what?'

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

It's not considered drinking alone if the cat is at home.

Moving in

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

Medieval headlines.

'We know you have a cat.'