Moving In T-Shirts

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

The light is green.

'Today is the first day of the rest of your life.'

'She moved in with the guy who delivered the flowers I sent her.'

'Honestly Simon, you treat this house like a hotel!'

'We know you have a cat.'

Moving in

"This is my half-brother who has moved in with me and my parents. I have warned him about your atheist agenda and I guarantee any attempt to ingratiate yourselves to him will fail." "We like SpongeBob." "Me too!"

"So your abuelita moved in?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. I do object to you moving in with my daughter... My daughter lives here!"

'Forgive me if I'm wrong,sir but you DID ask for a boozer next door!'

'Howard, it's your mother. I think she wants to move in with us.'

Woman asks guests: Before you sit down, would you like the grand tour?'

'23-D meet 17-C, sublet...'

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

"You know, if I come into your place, I might never leave."

"Can I move in with you?"

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

LAY ZEE FUK

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.