Moving Into New Apartment T-Shirts

'You need a more balanced diet.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"Man's best friends."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Tool Box

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Painting the Ceiling

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Home Sweet Home

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."