Moving Into A New Rental T-Shirts

"Well, you've just gone over the line in breaking the no pets, no smokers clause in the rental agreement, Mr. Crawford."

"You do realize you're not getting your security deposit back, right?"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Tool Box

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Painting the Ceiling

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"Man's best friends."

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"I believe I have just reached a whole new level of cozy."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Home Sweet Home

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'