Moving Into A New Rental T-Shirts

"Well, you've just gone over the line in breaking the no pets, no smokers clause in the rental agreement, Mr. Crawford."

"You do realize you're not getting your security deposit back, right?"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"Man's best friends."

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"I believe I have just reached a whole new level of cozy."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."