Moving In Gifts

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

The light is green.

'Today is the first day of the rest of your life.'

'She moved in with the guy who delivered the flowers I sent her.'

'Honestly Simon, you treat this house like a hotel!'

'We know you have a cat.'

Moving in

"So your abuelita moved in?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. I do object to you moving in with my daughter... My daughter lives here!"

'Forgive me if I'm wrong,sir but you DID ask for a boozer next door!'

'Howard, it's your mother. I think she wants to move in with us.'

Woman asks guests: Before you sit down, would you like the grand tour?'

'23-D meet 17-C, sublet...'

"You know, if I come into your place, I might never leave."

"Can I move in with you?"

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

Domestic Superheroes!!

LAY ZEE FUK

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"You've changed."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"