Castle Dwellers Gifts

"Sorry, Dad, but it's time to consider a retirement kingdom."

"Did I Remember To Close The Drawbridge?"

Medieval headlines.

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

'How about a game of cards?'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

Opening the Barrel

'No, no, no, Rapunzel. You hair, your hair! Not your bloody hare...'

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

'I'm upgrading our entertainment center.'

This castle manager job better be for real.

'He was leaning out to watch Lady Godiva, and his crown fell into the moat.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

I will not write on walls. I will not write on walls...

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

"Crap. I overslept."

Wine: New & Old!!!

'You folks just sit right there and I'll go kill some hors d'oeuvres.'

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

"And that won't wake me either."

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

'Spend the night in that place? You guys have to be kidding!'

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'