Moving To A New Apartment Gifts

"It's the co-op board!"

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

'I've never known people who take as many baths as they do!'

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

"Does the co-op board have any idea when the elevators will be replaced?"

Good design can make a garden look larger than it really is.

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

"Counting the space behind the pantry shelves, it's eleven square feet."

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"It's just a ten-minute walk to much nicer apartments."

Roots coming through the roof of a balcony.

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

An advertisement in an apartment window reads 'Drum Kit For Sale' - the sign in the neighbours window reads 'Thank God!'.

Dog thumping tail on floor, man below thumping ceiling with broom.

Turning my life around.

Don Z. And His User-Friendly Apartment

"Flat-U-Lease!"

"Just think - if it really was 'unlivably small', would they have installed a permanent ping-pong table?"

Balcony hot air balloon.

Apartment for rent: no pets allowed.

"I can't believe they allow bowling in their apartment."

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'Yes, I live on the third floor, but I am unaware of any howling sounds at night.'

"It was an artist's loft. Now it's a lawyers loft."

'Of course I get annoyed when people walk past and stare in the window. . . we're on the 18th floor!'

Complaining About Complaining

Noisy Neighbours.

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

Murphy bed...Murphy.

'I'm looking for an apartment near an ATM. I always run out of money by week's end.'

'Couldn't you people have a dog or a cat for a pet?'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'You can't use the elevator as guestroom!'