Moving Into A New Apartment Gifts

"Give me a minute, this is my first time haunting a walk-up."

Man drills a hole floor to let leak from ceiling into funnel.

"...there's honey all over the walls, a weird buzzing noise 24 hours a day and some weird broad at the end of the hall thinks she's the queen!"

1B, 2B, 3B and home plate.

"You can hear this?"

'Relax Cookie. I'll call the mold monster experts!'

"It's Bob and Margaret from down the hall. They're starting the fourteenth floor militia. Do we want to join?

'Of course I considered your feelings - I brought you some ear-plugs.'

Radiator Cookery

Party on the Balcony.

'Un-Cooperative Apartments.'

"I hope you don't mind, but I used your toothbrush."

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

'Ace exterminators, can you kill cockroaches for me, please.'

'Maintenance' first then 'Rent increase' on apartment blocks

The simple pleasures of living alone....

Minimalist Apartment rejects old furniture.

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

"Now this apartment will be vacant October 1st - "

"The place was in need of a woman's touch – and so was Bob."

"I'm staging a battle between the humidifier and the dehumidifier."

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"I'm looking for a special sort of roommate. Someone who will split the rent, do chores, then go home at night."

"Well I've done the floor! Only two days hard graft, but I thought you said the apartment had a sea view..."

It's not considered drinking alone if the cat is at home.

'The owner says you can stay free the first month if you can find his lost TV remote.'

'It's a small apartment. I'd invite you in, but there's only enough room for me.'

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

'We know you have a cat.'

'No offense, but this is a heck of an excuse for a bachelor pad.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Sharing a Christmas Tree.

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'